5 songs never to sing after making whoopee

Woe is he who says the wrong thing during those delicate three minutes after sex (or worse, during). If the pheromones are overwhelming and you just feel compelled to sing a happy tune, you'd best choose the right song or the next thing you'd ever be humping is the car door. Here are five songs you should stay very, very far away from right after sex:

1. 'Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying' - Belle & Sebastian

As sunny as Stuart Murdoch sounds whistling this tune away, it won't be all sunshine and rainbows for you as soon as the words ring clear. Get away you will, only to be relegated to keeping appointments with Mrs. Palmer and her four daughters.

2. 'Everything Is Average Nowadays' - Kaiser Chiefs

Transportation system is a piss? Sure. That bowl of beef noodles from down the street not what it used to be? Probably. Suggesting that sex is just "so-so"? Death by axe and 254 shotgun shots.

3. 'One More Time With Feeling' - Regina Spektor

Thus suggesting the first time was "by the numbers" and gasp, void of feeling. Not that it matters now because you'll be practising how to do it "with feeling" with either your pillow or your mum's paper towel collection. Neither is sexy.

4. 'It Means Nothing' - Stereophonics

Go figure.

5. 'A Time To Be So Small' - Interpol

Err..well, you know what you're worth (or not worth).

Any other songs you know to add to this list?

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