Sufjan Stevens
Yes, yes. It's nice to have Christmas cheer, smiles and all that. But isn't it way more fun being a sulk? And so in honour of the Grinches, Grouches and Scrooges who never get to enjoy Christmas the way they like, we've decided to pay an extra special tribute to them with a collection of songs destined to muddy up anyone's vision of a White Christmas. Here's to the slush!
Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk This Christmas)
Performed by Harold Hutchins
Depresso line: "You laughed and hollered Merry Christmas/I turned around and saw my Mumma's tears..."
Christmas Is Cancelled
Performed by Long Blondes
Depresso line: "Don't take your jacket off, this is not your home/Just raise a glass to two more people spending Christmas day alone..."
Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis
Performed by Tom Waits
Depresso line: "I went back to Omaha to live with my folks/But everyone I used to know was either dead or in prison..."
All I Ever Got For Christmas Is Blue
Performed by Over The Rhine
Depresso line: "When you play my song, play it slowly/Play it like I'm sad and lonely..."
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
Performed by U2
Depresso line: "They're singing 'Deck The Halls'/But it's not like Christmas at all..."
25th December
Performed by Everything But The Girl
Depresso line: "Have I enough time, have I just some time/To revisit, to go back, to return, to open my mouth again/And say something different this time..."
Blue Christmas
Performed by Elvis Presley
Depresso line: "Youll be doin all right, with your Christmas of white/But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas..."
That Was The Worst Christmas Ever
Performed by Sufjan Stevens
Depresso line: "Silent night/Holy night/Silent night/Nothing feels right..."
The River
Performed by Joni Mitchell
Depresso line: "Oh I wish I had a river/I made my baby say goodbye..."
If We Make It Through December
Performed by Merle Haggard
Depresso line: "Why my little girl don't understand/Why daddy can't afford no Christmas here..."
Last Christmas
Performed by Wham!
Depresso line: "A face on a lover with a fire in his heart/A man undercover but you tore me apart..."
Sigh, such wonderful Christmas spirit. Any other party poopers we missed?